"Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other." Carl Jung


image for beyond belief systems articleEnough is enough.  The decision I made many moons ago when I decided to cease blogging.

What did I have to say that has not been said?  What did I have to offer that is not already out there?

It is not information that we are short of, it is DISCERNMENT.

Assuming we still maintain the view that we are souls experiencing human constructs, where do we fit into the larger scheme of things?  Recent research has thrown up a smorgasbord of belief systems and if that does not drive one mad first how can someone new to this reality navigate their way through all that our world offers?  As an experiment on myself I devised the following questionnaire:

  1. How has your belief systems evolved over the years?
  2. How do you view/feel about children being lied to by parents over the “tooth fairy” and “Father Christmas?”
  3. How much do you still accept history as taught in our education systems?
  4. Where are you in your current experience of life?

Readers who have followed this blog (and they have diminished greatly these past few years due to lack of content) will know that I have undergone some intense and extreme changing realities.  Some refer to these as “Shamanic Initiations” others as “Spiritual Upgrades.”

There is a label, category and classification these days for every known phenomenon.

Recently I have had some contact with an experienced Shaman who has been teaching both in the US and India over a number of years.  I opted to share 2 extreme incidents from my life with him.  Whilst I had learned from and resolved and moved on from these events, they are related here in

“A New Human”  I felt the need to share them with a fellow traveller because, and this is hard to admit, the incidents were so severely profound and traumatic and everyone who I know who has so far read my book has never referred to them.  Is that down to their fear or mine?

Many diagnosed Mental Health patients have been sectioned in psychiatric institutions for experiencing far less than what I overcame.  And I did overcome it without any medication due to the loving and persistent care of souls not currently in human form.

For this reason, despite having much experience, knowledge and wisdom I have remained an ordinary person declining any offers to teach.  Yet here is where DISCERNMENT is needed.  There are thousands of Spiritual Teachings and Consciousness Raising Events that are keeping people in a “holding pattern.”

I have passed through a plethora of Conspiracy Theories (I think it’s time to do away with the theory bit and replace it with Reality) Spiritual and Consciousness Evolution Teachings. I have met and befriended some of the leading lights on the planet such as Eckhart Tolle and Davide Icke in my search for truth.  Much of what I have found is regurgitated information from other sources, in fact 99% of it is.  But we hear little about “personal experiences.”

Sitting on a park bench in a state of bliss, is not enlightenment. Understanding and embracing the shadow is.

Those deemed the greatest and most influential spiritual teachers of modern times have done little real personal shadow work.  So how can they lead their followers into areas they have not gone themselves?

Take a deep breath here if you are inclined to confuse criticism with discernment.  These are not mindless criticism I am making, they are facts gained from personal experience.

I have met many therapists, who gain their qualifications, take on their clients and before you know it they are having affairs with their clients as they had not been taught properly which leaves them and their clients in a state of confusion.  Their qualifications rarely included learning about “Energy.”  If we do not understand the source and use of this vital force we will get stuck in a holding pattern, because the teachings are being absorbed at an intellectual “feel good” level and not really affecting any profound change.

Having affairs with ones client’s is considered as abuse and it is not unusual.  In fact it is very common.  This is one area of DISCERNMENT that needs addressing, but there is another equally necessary and that is “Channelling.”

David Icke got caught up in this one time during his formative years before he learned his own form of DISCERNMENT, consequently the masses were told the UK Royal Family were reptilian human cannibals. Further research of course will produce a much more palatable yet still concerning story on this.

Yes, we are governed by a Ruling Elite, yes, there is a chasm between those that have and those that have not.  To address these issues we need to pass through as DISCERNINGLY and as quickly as possible all the distracting belief systems that are vying for our attention and begin to address and undo all that has been done to us to prevent us from DISCERNING the reality of a situation.  Whilst in the ultimate reality it is all one, simply saying or believing that does not make it so until we have completed our part of the mission.  Practicing DISCERNMENT will take us and enable us to develop trust both in ourselves and a greater empowering loving Universal Energy Source.

It starts with de-programming our minds and healing our childhood traumas.

We need to get out of our heads and deep into our bodies and connect with the soul’s source of guidance and collectively move ourselves to a position of Empowered and Discerning Sovereignty.

You will not find in my blog “information” par se, we are drowning in information, what you will find is hard earned wisdom that comes from experience.

Seeing reality for what it is is what we call discernment. The work of discernment is very hard. Lewis B. Smedes

As an aside, previous readers who have attempted to download the free book from the “Mission Neha” page will now find the 404 error corrected and the download available.




We are all familiar with the term “The Emperor Wears No Clothes.” An expression arising from a tale told of a young boy who in his innocence declared aloud during a parade by the ruling King of the Realm, where everyone had to bow down to the King’s will.

The Emperor Wears No Clothes!” as all around him bowed low and refused to see the obvious, much less name it.

The ruled had been indoctrinated into believing the King was dressed in full regalia and no-one dared to challenge his nakedness except this young innocent.

When anything unseen and hidden is causing problems either within a society at large or as is sometimes the case within the immediate family, first you have to name it. Until something is named there is no possibility of resolving it. Whilst people around the “hidden issue or situation” pretend there is nothing wrong, the hidden gets power.

Naming a problem that everyone around is trying to cover up takes courage. Whistle Blowers often do this. Child abusers rely on the hidden, look what has happened within many establishments in the UK over endemic child sex abuse, currently subject of a major enquiry, some of which goes back years.

It takes courage to name something when everyone around you is accepting something as being “normal” or “O.K.” There is tremendous psychic pressure to keep the status quo, to not upset the apple cart. More so when one’s livelihood depends on such silence or in the case of family, one’s sense of belonging is at stake. Recent Hollywood revelations illustrates this graphically.

But we remain silent at the cost of the Soul’s Integrity. Do we want to spend our years racked with guilt or denial because we did not speak when we needed to?

By our silence we are complicit.

The current endemic exposure of major aid charities here in the UK and their cover-up of their workers abuse of the vulnerable they were supposed to be helping, is sadly another tragic example.  I would like to be proved wrong, but I suspect this is the tip of the iceberg and we will, over the coming months and possibly years see events unfold that will continue to shock, if we have not desensitised to the plethora of exposures.

Now more than ever before we need to collectively find the courage to speak out when we know there is behaviour being covered up that harms others.  We need to move from a position of “covering our own backs ” to uncovering the facts. In other words, the time for “minding one’s own business” is coming to an end.  Whistleblowers Unite, the rallying call needed as we move into this turbulent year.

I have personally been a whistleblower, just as I finished  writing   A New Human

I needed to find paid work and accommodation as I had been given notice by my landlord.  I moved to London as a support worker to vulnerable individuals. This was a residential post.  Within 4 months I discovered financial and emotional abuse affecting a service user.. Reporting this caused me to be ostracised and my immediate line manager falsely accuse me of a wrongdoing which was totally fabricated, as a way to distract me from continuing with my allegations.  Eventually it was proved and the police and social services became involved and I learned after I had left that new procedure were put in place and the employee concerned called to account.   Doing this saw me become homeless. I had contacted a whistleblowers helpline and given the advice, “you have nothing to lose”  when it was clear that I could not continue working for this company.

It was not easy.  I was alone with what I was doing. But I was told by an ex-employee that “this kind of thing is endemic but everyone covers it up because they are frightened of losing their jobs”. 

The personal homelessness I experienced?  Ah well that is another story and would take many more pages to tell.  Methinks the time is fast approaching when my next book will be written, which I have been reluctant to start because my shed still has 60 unsold current books. I’m a good writer but hopeless at self promotion and marketing for sales.

I’ve had writers block for many a moon now.  I suspect some internal processes are occuring which may see the flow begin again………………

CrazywiseIn a small town in the heart of the beautiful Brecon Beacons in Wales, UK, an event was held that had a transformative affect on many attendees. For a town that usually struggles to attract more than a dozen people to similar public events, we had an astounding attendance of thirty five to forty.

CRAZYWISE made by US Human Rights Photographer and Filmmaker Phil Borges and his colleague Kevin Tomlinson, explores alternative spiritual routes of healing, giving a fresh perspective to an age old issue in a modern world. It documents the journey of two individuals, Adam and Ekhaya through their severe mental illness crisis, showing interviews with their family and friends, as well as commentary from Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Spiritual and Buddhists Teachers and others.

We attracted a 50/50 mix of Mental Health Staff, Volunteers and clients using those services.  It was sadly, marked by an absence of Doctors and Psychiatrists, the very people whose attention is needed.  This was expressed during the discussion phase following the viewing.  “Where were the psychiatrists?  Where were the Doctors?  Where were key management from Mental Health Providers?”  We had one manager from our local Mental Health Hospital who attended the film but not the discussions.

The “Open Space” discussions following the film, was as fruitful for the participants as the film. In fact I was told “conversations were being held across toilet cubicles” and some said “This could have been a 2 day event.”

The event was successful, validating, and transformative for those attending and was summed up by a comment from a member of a local Mental Health Charity,

“I have been to many mental health conferences and this is the first event I have had the opportunity to talk about my own distress in a safe accepting environment.”  She added I cannot find anyone to talk to in my work place.”

In the final Plenary it was agreed to take 3 initiatives forward.

  1. To seek ways to show the film to Senior Medical Mental Health Practitioners through conferences and seminars to raise awareness.
  2. The question of the power imbalances between those suffering mental distress and their Medical Practitioners and how to empower individuals to question their Doctors/Psychiatrist and other mental health support workers when necessary.
  3. Question a lack of safe houses, guidance and programmes for those wishing to come off medications.

This event was initiated by Avril Meyler Emerging Paradigms and sponsored by PAVO a Voluntary Mental Health Organisation.

We need to see more of these initiatives to raise awareness of the often very real connections between Mental Crisis, Spiritual Awakenings and Shamanic Initiations.  They are happening across the globe and will only increase until we finally get the recognition needed from Mental Health Diagnosticians and professional treatment providers.


Stress and Anxiety

trr_spring12_edwall_table1My first memories of severe anxiety and stress occurred during my second primary school. The incident is still clearly etched in my mind. The female teacher, a large lady with a vicious temper, was attempting to teach me knitting; I kept getting it wrong and mis-counting the stitches so she kept me in late at school after everyone else had gone home and I still got it wrong. The more she shouted at me and sent me back to do it again the more anxious and stressed I became until my hands were shaking, my stomach knotted and I was fighting back the tears. In the end she completely lost it with me and slapped me so hard that I flew over a table, unable to withstand the violence.

Due to my mother’s survival struggle as a divorcee following my father’s return from war suffering from PTSD, then known as shell shock, she sought work as a housekeeper to provide accommodation and food in our bellies. Unfortunately she formed an unhealthy relationship with her male employer, a landlord of a village pub. There were heavy drinking bouts and drunken brawls between them and one incident resulted in my mother being axed on the head and running around the house screaming “you’ve axed me, you’ve axed me!” I was in bed and heard all this and crept out onto the landing and listened, my stomach tightened as I prayed hard for it to stop. Eventually a policeman arrived and told me to go to bed saying ‘Everything is alright now.’ That was the beginning of a sense of powerlessness. That incident on top of violent treatment at school formed my early impression of authoritarian figures and their response to my extreme stress states.

I have learned since that severe childhood trauma can rip open the energy field that is designed to protect us. Children have a porous energy field until they form their own identity and healthy ego. These incidents combined to open me psychically hence I was privy to invisible worlds which others do not see, but may sense or feel around them. In old language spirits, the modern terminology being units of alienated consciousness.

We have gone from survival stress when our goals were to provide food and shelter as described in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, downloadsee illustration, to an insanity of materialism and extreme spiritual deprivation. Our country is obsessed with GDP whilst Rome burns. We may wish to think that we are safe and protected from world events, but our psychic mind and emotions are not and unless we deal with our own stress issues and healing journeys we will be ill equipped to enter the turbulent future on the horizon. Superficial practices like Mindfulness and pseudo psychic healing methods are applying band aids when spiritual surgery may be required.

It was following achieving esteem needs of family, wealth and status during my second marriage, in the midst of extreme stress that forced me to “wake up” from the somnambulism material world I was dreaming through that caused a breakdown(read break through). I did not understand at the time that I was actually living a life of constant stress due to the high profile life I was leading, as I thought it “normal.”

This awakening process started with consciously leaving my body during resting on a sofa at a friend’s house. This first incident rapidly progressed to several Out of Body Experiences and other unworldly scenarios and perceptions of different time zones, including end of world vistas and many paranormal experiences. This drastic change of perspective was also accompanied by an extreme change in lifestyle where I went from living in a country mansion to temporarily living in a caravan while waiting for a council house, having left my husband. This resulted in my physical body drastically losing weight, my menstruation cycle ceased and a heightened sensitivity when I could not bear to be touched and my head felt like a gigantic mushroom and I was frequently receiving “downloads” of knowledge and information. Computer technology was an unknown in my world at that time. But I can now look back and describe it as my brain being a computer downloading information that came from goodness knows where.

All this demanded a search for explanations and eventually led to me forming a close friendship with Eckhart Tolle the now celebrated spiritual teacher and Author of The Power of Now and encountering David Icke author of Children of the Matrix and one time TV Sports presenter before his spiritual awakening and media assassination and UK’s mass ridicule for his wild conspiracy theories which time has proved some of them to be correct. He was seen at the time as a mad man with an over inflated Messiah Complex. These two figures combined to save me from the madhouse. Without their in-put and influence in my life I would have ended up sectioned, drugged and regarded as “mentally ill.”

We can either learn to swim throughout the turbulent times or drown in a fog of prescription treatments and drugs. I have now reconciled my experiences, faced some of my deepest fears and devoted my life to living purposefully and holistically to better face the times we are entering. Avril Meyler Author of “A New Human” and “A Multidimensional Paradigm”

shamanic-view-mental-health_schizophrenia The recent celebrated Hay Festival has prompted this blog; having attended a total of 7 events all to a larger or lesser degree focusing on Mental Health Issues. For  a number of years, in fact since a catalytic period in my life from 1984 to 1993 I have been on a steep learning  curve. The start of which I began to doubt my own psyche and sanity in 1984 to understanding that a profound  change that had taken place within me during that 9 year period. Regular readers will have noted my “multidimensional awareness” with regards to perspectives on Mental Health, but what may be less known is the monumental struggle that followed the understanding of what had occurred.

In 1989 I had the unique experience of meeting and eventually living in the same house as the now famous and celebrated World Spiritual Guru Eckhart Tolle.   At the time of our meeting he was known only to a few spiritual seekers, and was in fact running A Course in Miracles and I was one of only 5 attendees.  His fortunes changed dramatically when we parted late 1993 and he became the celebrated author he is today and I began in earnest to develop multidimensional skills during which I underwent many powerful and sometimes traumatic experiences.   Now a Mental Health worker who had none or little understanding of “Spiritual Awakenings” “Dark Nights of The Soul” and Mystical Experiences” would readily have referred me for diagnosis and medication within the psychiatric model. In another reality I may have ended up medicated and labelled Schizophrenic

Fast forward to 2013 I became a member of our local MIND Mental Health Charity following an attempt to resolve an unresolveable family issue.  Far from benefiting from the counselling offered there I was stopped in my tracks by the systemic belief systems abounding in Mental Health Organisations where none or scant awareness is given to Psychic/Spiritual/Metaphysical perspectives, hence the medical/mental illness models prevail.  This was the beginning of another learning curve but one where I was in control on all levels as the preceding years had given me ample opportunity to practice the art of Self Will, when my being was being played around with by mischievous spiritual entities.  Or put it another way, parts of my psyche had split off and had become alienated from the wholeness of the ONE and therefore spent their dream time destructively creating and craving attention.  Only when I dedicated a period of two years self healing strategies by engaging these split off parts of me did I begin the journey through soul retrieval and eventually embraced, healed, accepted and owned those parts of myself, no longer seeing them as outer forces doing battle within me. Shamanism has much to teach our Mental Health teams.

I cannot stress enough the monumental amount of work this involved, and I was blessed to meet the occasional healer/shaman who far from considering my mental health as a problem, journeyed with me side by side and held out an invisible hand when I was forced to leap through the fires of hell to undertake this soul rescue.  It was a period not only filled with multidimensional parallel universe phenomena but also lucid clear dreaming that symbolically spoke to me far clearer than any well-trained counsellor.

Listening to the many lectures ranging from Ruby Wax on Mental Health and Mindfulness to a research group from Worcestor University on Bi-Polar I profoundly understand that we are largely still floundering around in the dark.  These issues cannot be adequately addressed without addressing the wholeness of what it is to be human leading to what it is to be a multidimensional spiritual conscious being experimenting within human development.  Whilst there are breakthroughs in Quantum Physics and on You Tube can be found a plethora of nuero scientific/brain/quantum resonances what is rarely heard is the real human story behind such abstract concepts. You Tube had not been created in 1984 (to my knowledge) and I believe my experiences somehow touched on and in these worlds without any understanding of the intelligence behind it.  For that I am deeply grateful to the Universal Guidance that I and others are receiving once they open their minds to embrace the unknown with trust in a Universal Intelligence some regard as GOD

Much of my “story” is related in A New Human  reviews can be found here.



graphic image for article on voluntary work

This graphic image illustrates how in one generation we have swung from a World Wide focus on the starvation crisis in Ethiopia as demonstrated by Live Aid and Bob Geldolf’s demands to end poverty and death by starvation in 1985, to a World Wide focus on an obesity crisis. It is clear that comfortable living and improved lifestyle choices has not necessarily enhanced our understanding of ourselves, and it is this lack of self knowledge and holistic approach to our health and needs that has led to obesity; quote from WHO (World Health Organisation) Read the rest of this entry »

Cenote image

1. Leave me Alone, I am Reaching My Goal.
2. Fuck You!
3. Namaste Bitches!
4. It’s Not Me, It’s You!
5. Keep Fucking and Rock The World!

Nothing subtle then?

This is just a small sample of the T-Shirt messages worn by people I encountered throughout my time in Mexico. They were worn by a combination of tourists from far and wide.

“You’re Stronger Than You Think and Braver Than You Feel.”

That’s the message card I carried around with me to give me encouragement.

There is no denying I am sad for humanity. Despite this I have encountered some kind and warm hearted people on my travels. Read the rest of this entry »

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